Regrets in Retrospect

This week we discussed the power of whiteness in the US south. We also went on a campus tour where we visited buildings that had a significant impact on diversifying the UA campus. My eyes were definitely opened by the reading as well as the tour. Racism is not something I have been unfamiliar with. I am a mixed race woman from California, so I feel my privilege has protected me from far wors e than what could have been experienced. California experiences a lot of racism with different ethnic groups besides what is experienced here in the US south. For me, I have experienced discrimination due to being of Mexican descent. Looking at me, you would never think that I was anything other than white. When I moved to Alabama, I was warned to keep it that way.

I was nervous to come to Alabama. I did not think my life was in jeopardy nor do I believe that it is jeopardy because of my race today. However, I had been warned by several friends that were southern and aware of my racial background to "stay as white as possible." In history courses, we learned about racial tensions in the south from pre Civil War to Jim Crow. When you're not involved in it or around it, it seems like an issue of the past. It seemed like a completely antiquated way of thinking. When I was told to stay as "white" as possible, I took that with a grain of salt. Surely, there aren't still racial tensions between black and white like the past. There's absolutely NO way that it still exists. I'll be fine. The first night I arrived in Alabama, my randomly assigned roommate announces that her "grandaddy is the head wizard of the KKK in Shelby County." and they "have his cloak and hood in a framed shadow box in their living room." WHAT HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO?! I scream this thought internally as I awkwardly try to change the subject. It wasn't until this statement and many more that I would unfortunately discover that there is definitely a lot of racial tension here in Alabama.

The power of whiteness in the US south is not an antiquated way of thinking, but still incredibly alive and well. Throughout my years here in Alabama, I would hear a lot of racial comments and stabs at minorities while I was in the room. These comments were made completely unaware that I am definitely a minority. "Well you don't ACT like a Mexican." "You're one of the GOOD ones." "Well I'm sure your family is extremely hard working and family oriented. Bless them for that." I would hear these phrases more in my three years here at the university.


The walk through of campus really opened my eyes to the backpedalling done here at the university. What really resonated with me was the fact that we still have Nott Hall when the history behind that is barbaric. However, they have done a very good job brushing that under the rug. I've been here for three years and never knew the history behind that building. I am sure there are many others that have absolutely no idea. When we looked at the slave quarters behind the President's Mansion, my stomach turned. I felt extremely uncomfortable looking at it. If I'm feeling uncomfortable looking at it when this is probably the up kept, remodeled version I could not imagine what it would have been like beforehand. I understand it's historical, but why is it being glamorized? That was my biggest question that probably will never be answered. It's 2016. Why is UA STILL glamorizing racism as history and sweeping their regrettable decisions under the rug?